30 September, 2005


21 September, 2005


The way I become spiritual
is simply to become myself.

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11 September, 2005

Confessions with a big 'C'

I have always been afraid of cancer .. the big C .

When I was growing up, I picked up lots of information about this disease which appeared to be shrouded in mystery and always carried a death sentence.

I remember my father reading a letter from my uncle and seeing the diagram he had drawn of his lung and a dark blob marking the cancer. My father's face was serious, but nothing much was SAID , rather I FELT it and made up the rest in my mind , I suppose. I was about 11 or 12 I think.

On another occasion , Christmas time, we were at good friends of my parents. There was a tree , presents , children , their family and our family and a few guests . One of them , an older lady, quite frail looking , wrapped in a shawl sitting by the Christmas tree. She was the one with cancer and would not live very long. I remember looking at her and thinking. " here you are , sitting here with the rest of us , but you know that you are going to die soon ..what is that like for you ? " or similar thoughts. This was also when I was between 11- 16 .

I think that the more these diseases are talked about and not shrouded in silence or clothed in euphamisms or fear the better.

Knowing someone with cancer or AIDS as an adult has certainly helped me be more understanding . There is still a great deal I don't know , but I'm on my way to greater understanding and PEACE.

Contemplating ELEVEN


God dwells in a place where time does not flow

Edgar Allen Poe
The Raven
[First published in 1845]

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as `Nevermore.'

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow will he leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the bird said, `Nevermore.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never-nevermore."'

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet violet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas *just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!

One of the Titans Pallas is the son of Crius and Eurybia and husband of Styx. Pallas is the father of Zelus, Nike, Cratos and Bia. He is also occasionally considered the father of Eos.
Pallas is also an appellation of the goddess Athena (Pallas Athena) who, according to some accounts was the daughter of Pallas. In this version Pallas attempted to rape her and she killed him. From his skin she made the Aegis.

09 September, 2005

Dealing with the seen , the unseen and the unknown.

I'm in day two of a streaming cold , in fact I am glad, because at least my discomfort is visbile and tangible. This is exactly what G. said earlier this week about having cancer.

" Having cancer is so easy to deal with compared with burn-out. Everyone is so caring , kind and empathic , but during the time I was burnt out and depressed there was non of that- it was dreadful. "

I was greatly inspired by G's wrath and encouraged her to write about the way she felt. G. has a great talent and passion for writing and this subject is certainly something that deserves to be made visible . So many people are suffering , but their dis- ease is not visible and therefore not seen, not believed and neglected.

' Release the need to know why things happen the way they do.'

I found this today on Caroline's daily message
www.myss.com - a message that seems to be coming up a lot lately in my reality and maybe yours too ?

A close friend of mine was badly betrayed by a lover this week, both emotionally and financially. This is the second time to my knowledge that this has happened , each time by a different person. You'd think that we would learn the first time ? How is it that we are so easily taken in ? I think these lessons return to teach us something, but what ?

Also the Tuscan saying: "Don't bandage your head before it gets hurt."

And the Buddhist story :

It is said in the Majyhimanikaya that the monk Malunkjaputta one time went to see the Buddha and expressed to him his dissatisfaction about his not telling his disciples whether the world was eternal or non-eternal, infinite or finite, etc.... The monk went so far in his effrontery as to present to the Buddha a challenge. He demanded that the Buddha should either reply with a yes or no to his questions, or to admit that he was incapable of so doing. In the former case, the monk declared himself disposed to remain his disciple, in the latter he would return to the life of the world.

The Buddha, without losing his serenity for a single instant, answered him thus:

A man has been wounded by a poison arrow, and his friends call the doctor. If the wounded man said, "I shall not permit this arrow to be torn out of me before knowing who the man is that has wounded me, which is his family, what he looks like, whether he is tall or short, dark or fair, and where he lives," he would certainly die before it were possible to help him.

This exactly would happen to one who, before entering the road to liberation, would demand that he be given a reply to all his questions.

06 September, 2005

Repetition of affirmation of orders to your subconscious mind ....

Repetition of affirmation of orders to your subconscious mind
Any impulse of thought which is repeatedly passed on to the subconscious mind is, finally, accepted and acted upon by the subconscious mind, which proceeds to translate that impulse into its physical equivalent, by the most practical procedure available.

Creation starts with a thought, an affirmation and a decision.

What is the meaning of ONENESS .. some thoughts

I think there are many ways of answering or attempting to answer this question. Here are a few of my thoughts on "What is the meaning of oneness ?"

That we are ONE I have always known, and in recent years have started to re- member and to experience. Belief is not the same as experiencing an inner " knowing " and for me this has not happened overnight, but gradually , step by step, thought by thought, and one " aha " experience after the other , with lights going on.

We are ONE in spirit , in the greater scheme of things, and together we form a world soul. We are projections of THE ONE .. of " ALL THAT IS " of " pure being " of consciousness an all pervasive force that has many names.

The paradox is that each of us is also unique. There is , never has been and never will be another "you" or "me". We are constantly creating our world with our each and every thought , each and every action , and even the thoughts that we don’t have. Our creating also has side effects which we see reflected in our own lives and in the lives of others.

On a mundane level we are also one living organism. We live and breathe the same air. Water is common to all of us ; we are made up of the same building blocks , the same chemicals. We are connected through our higher selves in the collective and by consciousness which is in each and every one of us , in water , our very water of life , in every stone , in every flower , tree, animal, insect, creature .. in everything.

Hurricane Katrina serves to illustrate how we are connected too by showing that what affects one , affects all. This is clearly visible in the effects on the global economy. The ripple effects are just being felt. It is a human tragedy as the Tsunami or 9/11 or the tragedies we don't get to hear about or the ones that we have forgotten. Some people have lost everything that they own and also their loved ones. We also pick up and share their grief their fears and anxieties , if not directly then indirectly.

We are also indirectly blessed. We get to feel and experience empathy, compassion, love, caring. We get a chance to get involved and to contribute , to help heal the wounds and to help repair the damage . Each of us in our own way, by sending financial aid, by offering prayers , and healing thoughts, by adjusting our own lives and behaviour patterns, by reflecting on our values.

We are ONE living breathing organism on this planet and we are not alone , but share our very existence with a infinite number of other beings and parallel universes.

" The meaning of ONENESS is ..................." is something to reflect upon and to take into meditation and contemplation. To experience and to express in who we truly are.

Just a few of my spontaneous thoughts.
Namasté .. Love and Light to us all

05 September, 2005

do me, do me ohh ohh do me !! ( one of those thingies )

Subject: do me, do me ohh ohh do me

This is funny. YOU fill in the blanks about ME and send it back to ME. But first send a blank one out to your friends, including me, so we can return the favour to you. Be honest they're really SCARY to get back. It only takes a few minutes, so just do it!!!!

1st: Send (forward) this Survey to everyone you know to see how well he or she knows you.
2nd: (reply) Fill this survey out about the person who sent it to you and send it back to them.
Your name: Where did we meet:
Take a stab at my middle name:
Do I believe in God:
How long have you known me:
Do I smoke:
What was your first impression of me upon meeting:
Colour of my eyes:
Do I have any siblings:
What's one of my favorite things to do:
Do you remember one of the first things I said to you:
What's my favorite type of music:
What is the best feature about me:
Am I shy or outgoing:
Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:
What's your favourite memory of me:
Any special talents:
Would you consider me a friend:
If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be:
If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what one thing would I bring?

04 September, 2005

NEW MOON 3- 11 September . New beginnings .

The sun is shining on us too today , blessed be !

I'm having a peaceful weekend , writing , thinking , reflecting , pottering apround. Many of my friends have come down with colds . I was supposed to meet a friend and do Brandon Bays " Journey " but she is down with migrane and a frozen shoulder - this is the second time we have had to cancel because of her migrain. She is a very sensitive intuitive soul . I supspect she is tapping into something in the collective.

What comes to me at this time is to really LISTEN to all the messages that come to me in dreams and waking life. The especially the ones that are repeated. So what are they ?
- Listen with ALL your senses
- Let go of what you don't need. Leave the boat behind after crossing the river.
- Think in positive terms of what you CAN do , what you LIKE, what IS instead of can't, don't like, isn't, won't etc etc .
- Create a positive vision in your mind and on paper - everything starts with a thought.

I'm going to do Carolyn Myss archetype wheel ( www.myss.com ) lots of goodies there.

Bless us all this day as we work and play today .

" I affirm, in this new Moon,
All is Healed, All is Healthy...
All is in Divine Order for the highest Good for All.
Peace is on Earth. "


Journalling is a great way to release and let go. To get things off your chest.
Our minds are our own worst enemies. The same thoughts go round and round in the same old ways and keep us stuck.

If something bothers you, write about it. Get it out so you can see it from a different perspective. Let it out. Let it go.

Owning and healing your pressure cooker is an important step in claiming your power, building your esteem and making your stand.

"In truth, to attain to interior peace, one must be willing to pass through the contrary to peace. Such is the teaching of the Sages."

-- Swami Brahmanada

03 September, 2005


The image of the morning sun in a dewdrop is not less than the sun. The reflection of life in your soul is not less than life. The dewdrop mirrors the light because it is one with light, and you reflect life because you and life are one.

Kahlil Gibran
The Garden of the Prophet


"No Judgement"

Everything in life holds both a blessing and a curse. We deny this when
we label the events of our lives as either good or bad. The following
old Zen story illustrates this lesson most effectively.

A farmer had a horse but one day, the horse ran away and so the farmer
and his son had to plow their fields themselves. Their neighbours said,

"Oh, what bad luck that your horse ran away!"

But the farmer replied,

"Bad luck, good luck, who knows?"

The next week, the horse returned to the farm, bringing a herd of wild
horses with him.

"What wonderful luck!" cried the neighbours, but the
farmer responded,

"Good luck, bad luck, who knows?"

Then, the farmer's son was thrown as he tried to ride one of the wild
horses, and he broke his leg.

"Ah, such bad luck," sympathized the neighbours.

Once again, the farmer responded,

"Bad luck, good luck, who knows?"

A short time later, the ruler of the country recruited all young men to
join his army for battle. The son, with his broken leg, was left at

"What good luck that your son was not forced into battle!" celebrated the neighbours.

And the farmer remarked, "Good luck, bad luck, who knows?"

"Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken."

-- Jean Jacques Rousseau


Intend Now!

Focused intent is like a laser beam
In consciousness and will burn through
The murky film of clinging emotion
and the alien texture of unknowing.

James Lane Prior
The Divine Moment

02 September, 2005

Attitude is everything

Attitude is everything , and behind each attitude is a thought or thoughts that manifest into emotions. When we are happy things flow easily . When we are angry , frustrated, overwhelmed, anxious , desperate ..... things around are coloured and change accordingly.

It's a viscious circle . Negative thoughts attract more of the same.

01 September, 2005

DailyOM - Becoming A Mentor

DailyOM - Becoming A Mentor

YES .. this resonates well with me .. thank you Diann for sharing .